Ten things not to do when you are in a relationship

A healthy, long-term relationship needs effort from both partners. While it’s important to pay attention to your partner’s needs, don’t forget your own.

 

Here are 10 things you should stop doing if you want to have a healthy relationship.

 

1. Trying to change your partner

 

This implies that you aren’t happy with your partner as he or she is. Accept the way they are or leave.

 

2. Compare your partner with others

 

Comparison, no matter how gently you do it, leaves your partner feeling inadequate. Instead compliment their positive qualities.

 

3. Invade their privacy

 

Avoid snooping i.e. going through their coat pockets, phone, email, etc. You might find something you don’t understand and this can lead to misinterpretations and fights.

 

4. Humiliate your partner

 

Poking fun at your partner might seem funny in the moment but when done over time can lead to low self-esteem and resentment.

 

5. Fail to have their back

 

Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader. Support all their dreams no matter how crazy. Be there to pick up the pieces when they fail.

 

When they face of criticism from your friends and family, defend them even if you see their point.

 

6. Bring up the past

 

If they wrong you and you discuss the wrongdoing, forgive and forget. Don’t hold grudges or use the incident as ammunition the next time you disagree.

 

7. Cheat

 

Cheating comes in different forms from outright dating other people to subtle things like texting which seems harmless. If you feel you need to clean out your phone in case your partner finds anything, you are cheating.

 

8. Stop making an effort

 

Don’t forget the things you used to do when you had just started dating. Have a date night, surprise your partner from time to time, compliment them, pay attention to their moods, give their concerns the attention they need. Don’t ignore them even when you have had a disagreement.

 

9. Forget yourself

 

You can have shared interests with your partner but don’t forget your own interests. Have a life that doesn’t involve your partner but ensure you do it respectfully and you inform them of your whereabouts.

 

Allow your partner to pursue their interests as well.

 

10. Abandon your friends

 

It’s so easy to become wrapped up in your relationship and forget about your friends. Ensure you make time to meet them and avoid speaking about your partner too much when you’re with them.

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